A human I am.

I'm such a human. I make mistakes, I do things the wrong way, I am nowhere near the "perfection" that everybody is longing for. What do people long for? They long for a physically pleasing sight, a leader with a strong backbone, a smarty whom they can rely to, who has kindness that everybody gets. None can have 100% of all. None. The truth is, we are all just humans. I am just a human.

Realizing the fact that I lack of self-principle and I accept everything that I am given.

No.

No no no no no.

Proses

Hari ini adalah hari Minggu yang bisa dibilang biasa aja. Tadi aku sekeluarga pergi ke rumah nenek buat acara haulan (berdo'a bersama; mendo'akan seseorang yang telah kembali kepada-Nya), dan seperti biasa, di sana kita bertemu kembali dengan orang-orang yang biasa kita temui di acara-acara keluarga. Makanan bertebaran di mana-mana: jajanan pasar, ikan bakar yang ukurannya besar sekali (seriusan deh), sayur asam, buah-buahan, sambal mangga (yang bikin aku sama Ina terpana), dst.

Kita juga sempat mampir ke mall karena adekku kepengen beli J.CO. Di arah pulang, kita berusaha untuk memaksimalkan waktu bersama dengan ngobrol. Ketika kita mulai mendekat ke arah jalan yang tengah diperbaiki, tiba-tiba papahku menyinggung sesuatu tentang Star Trek.

(Spock, 'cos he's just cool and Star Trek related eheh)

"Kakak-adek tau Star Trek, kan?"

Spontan aku menjawab, "Iya, kenapa?"

"Jadi, di Star Trek itu ada teknologi. Kalo misalnya kita pengen sesuatu, kita tinggal ngomong aja, terus benda itu muncul sendirinya. Jadi kalo misalnya kita pengen teh tuh, tinggal ngomong aja, 'teh'; itu dibuat dari energi."

"Tapi gini deh," papahku melanjutkan, "kalo ditanya lebih enak telur dadar bikinan Mbak sama telur dadar yang muncul sendiri, enakan mana?"

Aku dan Dinda menjawab hal yang sama, "Ya jelaslah enakan telur bikinan Mbak!"

Nah, dari sini kan kelihatan, bahwa proses itu segalanya. Kalau misalnya semua hal di alam semesta muncul dengan sendirinya, apa asik?

Allah mencintai proses. Makanya jangan harap ada atlet yang tiba-tiba bisa menang Olimpiade dengan sendirinya; dengan ajaib, tanpa latihan. Jangan harap seseorang bisa menemukan sesuatu tanpa dia berusaha terlebih dahulu; tanpa kegagalan, tanpa proses.

Jadi, jangan menyerah! Walaupun sekarang ini kamu belum bisa melakukan, mengerti, atau mencapai sesuatu, jangan menyerah! Aku sendiri juga sedang melewati banyak proses di kehidupanku ini, nggak mungkin kan rasanya tiba-tiba aja aku jadi sukses; tiba-tiba aja aku tau caranya mengatur uang, aku langsung bisa dapat kepercayaan untuk menjadi seorang pemimpin atau apapun itu yang memperlukan trust issue yang lebih tinggi.

Kegagalan itu hal yang biasa, tapi kalo kita bisa belajar dari kegagalan itu, nah, itu baru luar biasa. ;) agreed?

Parents Appreciation Post

Taylor Swift - Never Grow Up

Hi there, everybody (if anybody's reading this, anyway)! How are you all? Well... I had a pretty awesome start to September so I'm pretty psyched to know what lies ahead. =) for now, I would like to write up about my feelings here on my pablic blahg. Hehehe.

Right now, I am about to ask you a question: do you have parents?

If you do, you should feel very lucky. Yes, you are. You are very lucky to have someone to love and to care about you; even if some people have their own ways of doing so. People have different ways of showing affection towards each other, and if your parents are loving you "differently", well, nevertheless, they do love you. 

I've been thinking about stuff lately. Whenever I come across stuff, I tend to make a relevance of those stuff to my life. Well, I've been having one of those moments. This time, I thought about my parents. Well... have I been a good daughter? Have I been obedient? Have I been treating my parents the way that I should?I really do hope so.

I love my parents to the moon and back. Really... my parents are literally the first people that I have ever met since God sent me to this world. They have taught me a lot of stuff. They have sacrificed a lot for me, my sister. They are such an influence to my life. I don't know what I'd do without my parents. Who would I ask first about what medicine should I take when I have a headache? I will directly ask my mom. Who would I ask about stuff that I'm curious about? I usually go to my dad.

You see, I've been spending too much time growing up that I tend to forget that my parents are growing up too...

Losing someone is hard; and my piece of advice, treasure someone before they're gone. I'm so glad that God is still giving me a chance to love and make my parents proud. Right now that is one of my main goals. To make my parents proud. Love them, tell them how your day was even if it doesn't sound important to you, but trust me... to them, it does matter.

I just would like to say how thankful I am that God put both of you to my life, mom and dad. I'm sorry if I have those bitter times of my own, and... to this moment I still have no idea on how I would make both of you extra, super duper proud and happy of me; but trust me, I will.

I love you, mamah & papah. :)