No barriers

I am in my teenage years, and I have to tell you that I am filled with CURIOSITY. Yes, the thing that killed the cat? I guess so.

In this period of curiosity, I would like to know as many things as possible. And one of those many things are people. Yes, people. People are still such a mystery to me. Why do they do this, why do they do that?... the questions are flopping around in my mind and I would really like to know more about them.

I think that people to people relationship is such a meaningful thing. When a thing called "love" begins to bloom there, extraordinary things are likely to happen.

Building and maintaining relationships are not a walk in the park (indirectly quoting Paramore's Still Into You), but it sure is worth it. I regret being an introverted person when I was younger now, and I wished I could go back again and open up with people because they are wonderful.

These days, I've been having problems with my communication. I can't even identify myself among my friends. I mean, I don't know who I am between all of them, where do I belong? What am I supposed to say when they say this? What if I hurt their feelings?

I am not in any way bragging, but the school that I go to is owned by my grandpa, and I think I have been identifying myself as the grand-daughter of the school owner and bLAh. I hate it. I hate myself for doing it. I guess that's how I've been treating myself in front of my school crew and now that's how they're treating me. I mean, what got to me? I hate myself so much for doing it! But it's all done. I'm trying to scrape that image off though. And even though the bits of the scrapes are going to still be there, I'll be painting new colors, for sure. I guess I have always not preferred to live as a definition of somebody else, but I guess that's what I've been doing... ((REGRETS))

Anyways, back to the topic.

I have been so utterly scared by people back then that I close myself from them. I wear the hijab, and I'm afraid that people are mistaking me for who they think I am because of it. I mean, even though I wear the hijab, it does not mean that I'm different from any other teenage girls. I'm the same. I like the same stuff as you do. I love movies. I love books. I love Starbucks. I love... things that girls around the world love.

It's just a hijab. I'm just trying to follow what God wants for me. I'm adjusting myself for it.

Wearing the hijab does not only change how people look at me, but they also change the way I look at people. I'm scared of them. I'm scared of the people who are not the same as I am, because I'm afraid of how they will treat me as a girl who wears a hijab. The people who wear shorter clothes, snazzier stuff, has tattoos, obviously oriented from someplace more different than from where I came from. I'm afraid that they will look at me as if I'm an alien. Maybe I have to train to be more confident and stand taller to my religion, but I can't help that I am scared.

It's like people who are different cannot be friends. They cannot maintain a relationship. But I believe that it's not true. I believe that a girl with a mini-skirt and a girl with a hijab can be friends. I believe that people from Timbuktu and China can have a relationship. I believe that people with different religions can maintain a bond. I believe that this is all possible with respect.

Sure, people have different opinions. And this is mine. I think that we shouldn't judge someone from how they look, where they come from, what they believe in, and any other stuff that isn't relevant to building some sort of connection with them. Personality and behavior is everything. If they click with you, they click with you. Period.

But remember this: people aren't perfect. They make mistakes, they have flaws, and well... you just have to deal with that. There's no other way. Surely we've made mistakes and we've sinned, and because we all know how it feels, we have to understand each other and come through it together.

Conclusion: if you want to be friends with me, I would love to. Whoever you are, let's get to know each other. :-)