Uncertainty

In my life right now, there's only one thing that's certain: it's uncertainty.

"Life is a journey in which everyone are travelers" said an airway ad, and it's true. High school is an intersection which leads to many ends, and I am confused in which path shall I choose.

I often think about how things will work out for me. I make "perfect" scenarios of how I want things to be, I make up characters of the people that I want to meet. But somehow, I know that those scenarios and those characters will never come to me.

These days, I tend to get bored with school. I think about why in the world should I learn this to accomplish. Don't get me wrong, I love theories. I love science. But I just don't think that I'm learning them the way they should be in school.

When I'm getting down from the bricks that the school unloads (which will transform into nothing but grades later), I cheer myself up by saying that I'm not at school. "School" is just a cover-up word for a training facility for secret agents. The lessons, the homework, the exams, the worksheets... they are all just a simulation of bits and bobs of what I will do when I finally graduate into being a secret agent.

Agent SALT. I will be like her.

Well, I know it's just imagination. But it's fun to think like that, and it makes me savor the things that I do at school. Nothing feels worthless, because secret agents are required to be able to do anything: to calculate the possibilities, measure everything to its edges, etc.; and I think that's what covers up school at this period.

Okay, everything is uncertain. But then again, if everything is so certain right now, nothing would be so complicated and so confusing. It's kind of an enjoyment to feel complicated and confusing. The reason why it is, is because there are lots in store for me, and I just can't seem to pick one. That's the exciting thing to it, if I do a fling on this, and it doesn't fit me, all that I need to do is to cross it out of the list and try something else.

There's a perfect song for what I (and my peers) feel right now about uncertainty:

The lyrics exactly reflect what I feel, and it feels good to hear it. At least, I know that I'm not the only one who's facing the uncertainty of life in the eyes of a teenager.